It's not enough to be interested in something. You must be committed.

Imagine a parenting book that doesn't tell parents what to do, but teaches the art of self-discovery using the same methods parents can use to encourage their children's growth and learning. As an experienced language teacher, trial attorney, and parent, Laurie Gray is writing a book inspired by Socrates, Plato's teacher.


A recent Q & A with Laurie:

1. What does leadership mean to you?
For me, there is only one way to lead—by example.  The only person that I can truly discipline or control is myself.  I can disciple others and also empower them by helping them develop their ability to think for themselves and encouraging them to become more aware of their innate abilities and connection to everyone around them. 

2. How do you incorporate leadership as well as the essential habits of character into your family, business, life? 
-By feeling grateful for the life and resources we’ve been given and finding the passions that are ours to pursue. 
-By choosing always to act with kindness and compassion. 
-By recognizing that the “ends” never justify the “means.”  Anytime you use the negative tools of fear, force or manipulation the end you achieve isn’t really an end, but the beginning of a new revolution.  Revolution is a revolving door that leads you right back to where you were:  in a power struggle or conflict.  Effective leaders guide us toward positive EVOLUTION, not REVOLUTION. 

3. What impact do you think character has on children? On communities?
Human beings learn character the same way that they learn language—from the people around them.  The ability exists innately, but is initially learned and expressed by imitation.  My daughter was born with the innate ability to learn any language, but she thinks and speaks in English because that’s the language she’s been submerged in her whole life.  Too often we try to teach character as a “foreign language.”  Do as I say, not as I do.  Or just do as I tell you because I said so…because I know what’s right and what’s best for you.  That’s not how character works.

4. How can children affect leadership? 
By knowing, embracing and loving themselves and by recognizing and appreciating their connection to others.  

My two favorite teachers in the order of their appearance on earth are Socrates and Jesus.  Socrates believed in the Delphic Oracle’s commission to “Know yourself.”  Jesus said the two great commandments were to love God with all your heart, soul and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself.  Regardless of religion, children need to know that there is a source of Life, call it God or the Universe or whatever, that is beyond human comprehension and control.  When you allow that source to be your inspiration and commit your whole self—body, mind and spirit—to the exploration of that source, you naturally develop leadership potential.  I think people generally do love their neighbors as themselves, the problem being that they don’t really know and love themselves.  When children are taught to truly love and accept themselves, they will develop their natural ability to love others and become better leaders in the process.   

5. What is one thing you could recommend to others so they, too, can bring
character to life?
In a word:  THINK.  Our ability to think for ourselves is the key to character.  There’s nothing more useless than a mind full of someone else’s thoughts.  Descartes said, “I think; therefore, I am.”  When we raise our children to be obedient and conform to our expectations, we rob them of the character that is innately theirs, just waiting to be developed.

 

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An experienced trial attorney and child advocate, Laurie is the founder of Socratic Parenting, LLC (www.SocraticParenting.com), co-creator of Token of Change™ (www.TokenofChange.com)  and a consultant for Sophie’s Café (www.SophiesCafe.org).  She is a former columnist for Fort Wayne Woman magazine and has published numerous articles.  Laurie also served on the faculty at the 25^th and 26^th National Symposiums on Child Abuse in Huntsville, Alabama in 2009 and 2010. 

Do everything in your power to support a cause you believe in. I believe in you.

What were you doing earlier today? What are you doing right now? What are you doing with your life?
How many times throughout the day, week or month do you respond, “I don’t know”? Think about it for a moment.

If you are like most people, you may have lost count after the first ten, right? So, let me ask…why don’t you know? Have your daily tasks become automatic? Are you bored and unmotivated? Has your resistance worn you down?

Being aware of what you are doing is a fundamental step in developing strong habits of character and aligning your family, your business and your life. As you increase your awareness, you better understand your motivations, your purpose and your potential. You begin to consciously design your life with purposeful action.

So, how do you become more aware? Go to the experts, that’s how! In this instance, though, solid information won’t be delivered by your friend, colleague or even mentor or coach. No, this time, the expert is you.

You are the expert when it comes to your motivators, your purpose and your potential. You live with(in) yourself day in and day out. That’s 60 minutes an hour, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. There is no one that is closer to you than you! You hold all your own answers; you just need to activate your awareness to know the questions to ask. 

To activate your awareness, consider:

1.    Know who and where you are: Identify who and where you are in this moment. Consider important influences in your daily life such as family, friends, finances, fun, spirituality, and work. What is it in your life that directs you to feel what you feel and behave as you behave. This understanding offers not just the opportunity to consciously choose what aspects of you life you’d like to change.

2.    Know who and where you want to be: If you could glimpse into a crystal ball and see your ideal life, what would it look like? Be creative and think big. There are no limitations here. Be sure to consider all aspects of your life including family, recreation, where you live, volunteer work, career – whatever you can think of that makes your heart spark. This awareness illuminates your purpose and direct you to say “I know exactly why I am doing this!”

3.    Consciously create habits of character: We are creatures of habit. Consciously creating habits that support rather than limit you is essential in squashing the “I don’t knows.” The habits that support are habits of character. The five habits that build and strengthen your foundation are Gratitude, Responsibility, Integrity, Unity and Service. These five habits direct your actions at home, work and beyond for ultimate success.

From the moment you wake in the morning to the time when you lay your head to rest at night, direct your actions with enlightened awareness. Doing so will open you, your family and your business to a world of possibilities – a world of inspiration. Imagine the possibilities. They are so vast that it makes you think that everyone should take steps to become more aware. I agree. Why aren’t they doing it? Well, my friend, I don’t know.

Find something you would do for free and then get paid. (That's what Character Coaches do!)

What is a "kid ninja?"  Anthony Recenello fits the bill.  He is the founder of CharismaticKid.com and has an impressive background when it comes to incorporating character and kids!  Check it out!


Here is a recent Q & A:

1. What does leadership mean to you?
In a social context, leadership means having a vision, being passionate about it, and allowing others to follow. 

2. How do you incorporate leadership as well as the essential habits of character (gratitude, responsibility, integrity, unity & service) into your family, business, life?
A big part of CharismaticKid is about teaching your children how to be a leader; I tell parents that in order for your children to be leaders, they must first have a great example of what one looks like.  The essential habits of character all have to do with a big thing:  caring.  When I can care about others, it enables me to perform all of your listed habits.  Teaching this to your children has to do with getting them to realize how good it feels to make others happy with your talents.

3. What impact do you think character has on children? On communities?
Character makes children more charismatic.  It makes communities more united. 

4. What is one thing you could recommend to others so they, too, can bring character to life?
Express emotion.  That is the essence of character/charisma.

Find out more about Anthony and CharismaticKid here.

I'm not quite sure what I've gotten myself into. Let me explain.

My good friend, Sandy Grason, introduced me to a super innovative woman, Holly Hamann, here in Boulder who started BlogFrog. BlogFrog is this incredible community of bloggers supporting one another. And, anyone who knows me, knows that community is uber important. So, I joined up. I admit that I haven't been as active as I'd like so I figured I would join their 31 Day Blogging Challenge. Basically I'll be blogging on a variety of topics through various means over the next month. Since I've let my writing fall to the wayside, I'm really looking forward to this. 

So, the first thing I'm doing to get this started is the Blog Hop. What's a Blog Hop? Until an hour ago, I had no idea, so I'll share the explanation found on LinkyTools.

"A blog hop is a linky list that is SHARED ON MULTIPLE BLOGS. When several blogs put the same linky list code on their blog, the exact same list appears on each blog.  Blog visitors can submit their entries on any blog that contains the list. The entries will appear on each blog where the list resides.Blog readers see the same list on each blog, and can "HOP" from blog to blog seeing the same list of links to follow: BLOG HOP!?

So, this is my first Blog Hop. You're next! 

Now is the time to inspire a culture of character that moves beyond the classroom and into the family room, board room and more. Are you ready?

Today is the first day of the 31 day blogging challenge I joined through SITS girls on Blog Frog. Our mission is to write an elevator pitch, which is basically a 15- to 30-second commercial on what you do.

 As a parent and entrepreneur,I have many different roles: wife, mom, coach, boss, speaker, author, writer, coach, volunteer, mentor, homework checker, chauffeur, cheerleader, short-order cook…the list goes on. If you, too, are a parent you understand. Really, what don’t you do, right?

However, not so long ago, someone asked me, “What do you do?” And, usually I can roll of a short, sweet pitch, but, oh-no, I bumbled and rambled until this person’s eyes glazed over. It was awful. It really made me realize the power of a good elevator speech.

Really, what would you do if you were riding on an elevator and Oprah walked in?You have her undivided attention for 30-seconds or less. What would you say? Now, hold that thought for a few minutes before answering.

Let’s take a step back…What do you say when anyone asks you, “What do you do?” Are you are completely tongue tied and stumped? Or worse, you rattle off a five-minute explanation including your services or products from A-Z, your credentials, your education, your clients, etc? By the time you’ve finished, that other person’s eyes are glassy and they are mentally writing their grocery list in their head. Why? Because, they don’t understand what you have said, don’t need what you have, or are just not interested. So, what do you do? Figure out a way to effectively distingush yourself in a busy, overcrowded, and at times, indistinguishable marketplace. You have to learn to set yourself apart, and I hope that it exactly what I am doing now in responding to the #31DBBB challenge for today.

The Long and Short of It

Short elevator pitch: I help build strong communities of character that inspire young people

Long elevator pitch: I help to inspire a culture of character and leadership in young people.  I work and connect with children, parents, educators and businesses to cultivate strong communities of character that build greater confidence, connection and community in classrooms, family rooms, boardrooms, locker rooms and beyond.

Final Thoughts

Sharing my elevator pitch has once again cemented my commitment to children and the communities that support them. It also provided me with a pat on the back that I have been consistent with my message in all that I do.

What about you? What's your elevator pitch? Does it tap into the five habits of character and align with the leader in you? 

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